Thex0xlibertine's Journals

"Leannnnnneeee!!! Your my beautiful Freak!!" - :)

Hiiiiiiii!!!!
Gahhh its been a while hasn't it?!
I thought I may aswell give the 'ol buzznet another o as to be quite honest I miss it!
The good old days with the stupid comment conversations and the lovely people who have touched my life :)

Well I'm not going to lie (I'm a shit liar to be frank) I have changed, my life has changed. I've moved, changed college course, met new people, made new friends, have a whole different music taste, different views on things, I've matured and grown up!

Life ain't half grand at the minute! I've decided to be more optimistic about stuff. I guess I've had quite a revelation of late aha.

First off!
I think buzznet needs to feature more english artists I'm getting sick and tired abot reading about paramore and fall out boy all the time!
BUT
I was pleasantly surprised to see buzznet have warmed to the lovely Kate Nash :)
I wish Patrick Wolf, laura marling, frank turner, Adele, the duke spirit, and the kills were mentioned!! they are ALL incrediable!!! for sure
alsoalsoalso!!!!
There's a young singer songwriter (folk, acoustic, punk) from Stratford that I love! I'm being serious she is just AMAZINGGGG! Her name is Perkie
Listen up buzznet! you dicks! FEATURE HER!!!!!!!
anywayyyy
for anyone else who is interested here's her myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/perkiekicksthings

Fuck Hayley Williams and Audrey "I love like a shlagggg" Kitching! This girl is aceee check her hair! mohawwwkkkk! and her music is from the heart, raw, passionate!
*breaths* rant over!
oh
by the way

I'm vegetarian. :)

CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCKING HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

ARRGH!!!!

I'm sooo confused right its kiling me arrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!
Ok well its involves a boy (WHAT a surprise!) and well he says he really likes and stuff and we have really long chats ALL the time
and yes people I have met him he goes to my college!

But coz of people that have hurt me in the past I don't believe him, when people nice things like: "Your beautiful" I just don't believe it! the thing is I don't think im worthy of affection or for someone to love me and its just messing up my mind big time!!!!

AND!

I'm shit scared about going back to college coz I know I'll see him! BUT I've talked to him before but its just different now. I'm just scared he won't feel the same way!!! and I'll just get hurt big time! and I don't wanna feel the pain!

There a plenty of wayyyyy more attractive girls at college! I don't understand WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE LIKE ME?!!!!!!!!!!!

Read!!!

Ok so yeah I sent oot a blog on myspace about this but some of you do not have myspace so I thought I would let you know on her to :)

Basically I have just moved house so my internet conection with not be up and running for a while
The reason why I'm online now is because I am at my nan's but I'm going home today, plus im going to the zoo!!!! yay! I'll take pics and that and I will put them up when I'm next online!

Love you Lee

xxx

Top 10 Celebrity Crushes

YAY!!!

Ok people I have been tagged!! by Rachspoon
So I have to state my top 10 hmmm this should be fun!!

1. The number One position has to go to the beautiful Gerard Way!
because well isn't it obvious?!! hes fucking amazing! He's attractive but the thing that makes him really attractive is his intelligence and great sense of humour! I love it. He's such an inspiration!

Look at the gorgeous eyes!!! *swoons*

2. The number 2 position goes to the Magical Patrick Wolf!
I just love him!! everyhting about him is magical and dreamy. I love his dress sense, hair, voice, makeup EVERYTHING!!
His music just takes me away from my shitty life for a while. Plus he really is strongest person, hes been through so much you can hear it in his songs and hes still here inspiring people. He's unique and different thats what I love about him. He's just Patrick! :)

3. The number 3 position goes to Edward Larrikin because I love his romantic dress-sense and look (if thats makes any sense) I love his band Larrikin Love they rock!! he can beautiful eyes and lips LMAO :p

4. The number 4 position goes to Cillian Murphy because hes irish!!!! I love the irish accent especially his!! :) he has the most beautiful blue eyes in the whole world!!! Plus he can sing and act!! I alot of his films
Plus he makes a beautiful women and man!! I mean who else can pull that off?!! (watch breakfast on Pluto and you will know what I mean!! its a great film :D)

5. The number 5 position goes to Peter Doherty ok I know most of you know him as the smack head druggie bf of Kate Moss BUT before all the bullshit there was an amazing band Called The Libertines which he co-fronted. I owe alot to that band seriously!! and at one time he was a very attractive young man. Thats the Peter I am attracted to. I loved his lust for life, music and poetry. Its still there believe me but all the crappy haters concentrate on is his drug addiction! Hes such a talented, funny, charming man!

6. The Number 6 position goes to Jared Leto because he really is sex on legs to be honest. I mean he has a body to die for!!! and I could stare into though's incrediable eyes forever!!!

7. The number 7 postion goes to Jimmy aka The Tev from avenged Sevenfold. I like him because he's fuckin hilarious, tall (I like tallness lol), has sexy hair, tats, piercings and he can fucking play!! thoughs drums a talented man!! :D oh and his glasses are the sex! hahaha

RAWR!!!!!

8. The number 8. postion goes to Brandon Flowers (well hot fuss era Brandon) he is a sexy man ans look great in eyeliner!!! The Killers rule to I love his feminity!! hahaha its very appealing, plus during thr 'hot fuss era' he had a very good dress sense. He also is very outspoken and I like that! he doesn't kiss people's asses!!

9. The number 9 position goes to WiL Francis from Aiden.
I find him sexy because looks better in make-up than me! Plus he looks a bit like a vampire and I have a slight obsession with them so its very Sexy!!!
Plus Aiden fucking rule!! :)

10. The number 10 position goes Bob Bryar because he is sooooooooo cool!!!! and funny!! and I find that sexy!! He has gorgeous blue eyes to! hes just so adorable!!! :)

I tag: Midnightnightmaresxx, xbert4lifex, frankierosmistress, xstakemyheartx, fairyxwithxfangs, imdeadstillloveme, amartin, burymeandfadetoblack, newjerseyhearts, xrandomerx

So there you go my top 10!!

Ok I have been thinking about this for a while.....

Ok so here's the deal

For a while now I have been growing tired of buzznet. I grown tired of all its bullshit, rumours and drama.
When I first joined buzznet I thought it was fun and I have met pretty amazing people to be honest. I think I've made friends for life :)

But lately everything on here has been wearing me down. People fighting and hating on each other and all the fucking teenies and the popularity contests. Like who is the most fucking scene and all the stupid scene queens and their SHIT hair!
I have been debating whether to leave buzz for a while its been playing on my mind...and then I read Rachels journal and realised someone felt the same as me was going throught the same thoughs and feelings as me!

Its just I have been very depressed for a while. I've felt so lost, confused and isolated from everyone I care about and buzznet I feel is making me worse...
The thing is I need a break. Like Rachel said in her journal about MCR. Being a member of buzznet is disconnecting me from the band that has helped me so much. All the shitty forum threads and picture and rumours and bulletins. You see I've been around this negativity almost everyday for a while and it seems no-one cares about the music anymore, no-ones talks about it anymore. The reason why I joined was to discuss my fave bands with other fans across the world, but thats not happening anymore :(

I mean WHAT THE FUCK happens to individual opinions?!!!! all I get is shit for mine and people saying "I can't believe you weren't on my side" ??? when did it get to be about fucking sides?!!

So this is why I have decided to take a break from buzz. If you want to contact me I have msn or myspace (theres less drama there is my opinion)
My msn is: xdoll_babyx@hotmail.co.uk
If you wanna contact me by mobile then send me a private message to ask coz I will check my buzz every so often but I won't be staying online :( I just need a small break after a much needed talk with rachspoon we have both decided this would be a good idea for me

Maybe after my break I will decide whether to stay for good or not...I love you all very much
Talk to you in the future sometime

Lee
xxx

Has anyone else noticed this?

This really pisses me off!!
But lately on both myspace and buzz I have noticed that some people pretend to be something they are not.
Maybe I have way to much time on my hands but some people (im not nameing any names) are posting pics that aren't really them.

For some reason this pisses me off because I don't like to be lied to or led to believe someone that I talk to isn't really them. I mean if you don't like what you look like then don't post a pic of yourself thats what normal people would do right? Or if your not comfortable with putting pics of yourself on your page then put your profile pic as a member of your fave band or a band again most people do that.
I've noticed it alot on people myspace to and it just really grates on me because I know its not them but I can say anything because I can't prove it!

Since the birth of photobucket anyone can say they are someone they are not because for e.g.:

I keep finding this pic on some people's myspace and photobucket. I mean you may say that the person might be telling the truth but two people can't be the same person right? and someone on buzz (again not nameing names) claimed a pic was her when a close friend of mine from school had the same pic as part of her myspace layout that was pre-made. You could say maybe its all in my head but I've noticed this kind of thing for a while now.
I just wish people would just be honest and not pretend I hate fake people and I hate liers arrgh!! it just has really got to me!!!

God I am such a weirdo at times but I can't be the only one who has noticed this...there must be somelse right?!!!

Ok people I have been tagged! shock

So yeah Lee has been tagged by my twinny Becca and my fellow Gerard Loverrr Rachspoon. Damn!! I can't tag them now!

Okayyy so 8 random facts hmmm lets seee:

1. I am 5 foot (yep very small! lol

2. I hated MCR at one point!!!!!

3. I once saw Peter Andre in concert!! (i was tricked ok!!!!)

4. I have very small feet, I'm size 4!! lol

5. When I was 5yrs old I had REALLY short hair!! (I looked like a boy I'm telling ya!)

6. I am scared of our Lady!!! (someone told me a really scary story!! it scared me!!)

7. I watch home and away....(its my guilty pleasure ok?!!)

8. Beth Ditto from the gossip is one of my hero's she rocks!!!!

I have tagged: xxstakemyheartxx, amartin, xbert4lifex, xrandomerx, darklies19, evilxridingxhood, buryxmexandxfadextoxblack, frankierosmistress

My Buzznet Family! :D

Ok well I nicked this off someone...well I did ask first *innocent face* honest lol

1. My bf

2.My husband - xxxrandomerxxx

3. My gf

4. My wife - xxstakemyheartxx

5. My big brother

6. My lil brother

7. My twin - midnightnightmaresxx

8. My big sis

9. My lil sis - imdeadstilluvme

10. My cousin

11. My aunt - deb4gus

12. My secret admirer

13. My bitch - hellaradloser

14. My bff

15. My lover - rachspoon

16. My adopted sister - newjerseyhearts

Tell me in a comment if you want to be in it and what you want to be. =]

LY Lee
xxx

[Your Love Has Come To Late] Chapter 6

Note: The date is 2/2/2003

Amelia, Christie and Peter would be 26yrs old

"Oh my God! How loud is that music? my ears are ringing!" yelled Amelia as she walked into the night club toilet arm in arm with Christie. The quiet tapping of her black stiletto's echoed as she ran into one of the toilets.

"I've drank way to much!" giggled Amelia.

"Yeah I think you have..." muttered Christie as she stared into the big mirror infront of her, "I'll show you boring!" The loud click of the toliet door sounded and out stepped Amelia looking a bit worse for wear.

"Hey you alright hunny?" she asked brightly

"Yes of course I'm fine." lied Christie with a fake smile.

"Good, good!" She replied as walked to the door to leave. "You coming?" she asked turning back to Christie

"Um...yeah I'll see you in there I just need to fix my makeup, its all over the place."

"Alright you want me to get you another orange juice? I know you don't like to drink."

"Yeah sure Mia...thanks" Christie replied with a sad smile.

As soon as Christie knew Amelia was both out of sight and earshot, she took a deep breath and quickly unzipped her purse and pulled out a small plastic pouch with a small amount of substance inside. She held it up to her face to get a better view of the mysterious powder. It was fine and a brilliant white colour...it was cocaine. Christie stared at the small plastic pouch for what seemed like forever, until she finally emptied the white contents onto the smooth, black surface infront of her and cut it into small neat lines with her credit card.

"I'll show you boring!" she spat again through gritted teeth as she bent down and snorted all three lines up her nose. She then slowly stood up and threw her hair back laughing manically. Me boring? NEVER!" she giggled as she stumbled out of the toilets "Now lets party!!"

xxx

The baseline of the music balsted througth the nightclub as Amelia made her way up to a tall, dark haired handsome, young man. He seemed bemused as he watched a dark haired young women dirty dancing with a group of men and women.

"Hey peter! Have you seen Christie anyway? The last time I saw her was in the ladies toilets and now I can't seem to find her anyway and I have a drink for her!" she yelled so her voice could be heard over the music.

"Um yeah...err...there she is!" he replied pointing at the dark haired young women.

"What the fuck?!! Are you being serious?!!" she replied utterly confused, this kind of behaviour was not like Christie at all!

"Yeah" Peter said turning to Amelia "Now why would I lie to you?" he asked looking straight into her eyes, his dark brown eyes brimmed with intensity and passion as his stare continued. Amelia stared back drawn in by his hypnotic eyes but broke away as she looked back at Christie.

"Um...we had better get going now its late and I have to go to work in the morning." she started and then walked over to Christie.

"Hey hunny, Peter and I would like yo go now. You daid you would drive."

"Mia!" Christie whinned "Your spoiling my fun!"

"Well your the ownly one who hasn't drank alcohol...are you ok?! Amelia asked concerned. Christie's smiling face fell as she tried to appear 'normal' she didn't want Amelia to know she had been taking drugs.

"Yeah I'm fine, you're right lets go." She replied taking Amelia's arm and walking to the exit of the club.

"Are tou sure your ok?...its just you don't seem...yourself..." asked Amelia again once all three of them were outside.

"For God's sake Mia! I'm fine!" snapped Christie, "Infact I've never felt better." Amelia shot a look of concern at Peter as they climbed into Christie's car. She knew something was wrong, her head was screaming at her to say something, but she kept her mouth shut, she didn't want to irritate Christie more than she already had. Plus if Christie said that she was fine then Amelia believed her because she trusted her...

"Christie! What the fuck?!!" yelled Peter from the back seat, "Slow down! your going to fast!" Christie ignored him and slowly pushed her foot down further the miles per hour dial gradually moving upwards 40...50...60...70...80

"Christie please!! your freaking me out!!!" pleaded Amelia. Christie's eyes danced dangerously and a menacing smile stretched across her face as she turned to look at her friend. She loved the fact she was making Amelia uncomfortable. The drugs had obviously affected her sense of judgement, but she relished the feeling of complete freedom. She had never felt so alive!

"Aren't you finding this fun?!" She asked in a shrill excited voice, "I mean I'm trying not to be so boring Mia!" she continued this time growling with rage. "I mean what did you say in the club? Oh yes I remember now! 'Come on Christie don't be so boring'"

"Christie you know I didn't mean that! I was messing around!" Amelia cried frantically looking at the tall dark trees whizzing past them through the window, the car was going so fast! The heavy rain, angry rain thumped against the car roof. It soon drawned on her that Christie had obviously purchased some dodgey drugs from a seady dealer in the night club. She curled her fingers round the bottom of her seat tight to keep her there as the car gathered more speed, she had never been so terrified in her life!

"You see Mia you never mean anything! Everyone loves Mia! Mia's so cool so rebelious and dangerous!"

"Christie have you been taking something?" asked Peter as calmly as he could. He had never seen Christie like this before it was like a totally different person was driving the car and he didn't like her one bit!

"Christie did you get some dodgy cocaine in the club? Now I know why you stayed behind in the toilets you were fucking snorting that shit!!!" but Christie ignored both of them and carried on with her mad rambling, each word spat out of her mouth oozing with venom.

"Mia's so pretty, Mia wears great clothes, Mia this! Mia that! I'm always in your shadow, forever known as Amelia Wolf's best friend!" she spat.

"Christie ple-"

"Do you know what thats like?!" she interupted, "Never acknowledged as Christina Adams, forever invisiable!" she continued her fixed open but glazed over not concentrating on the road in front of her, still pushing her foot further down... 80...90...100.

The atmosphere in the car was so tense you could cut it with a knife. The car drove around a sharp corner and Christie lost control of the wheel, the car span round and round on the spot Peter, Amelia and Christie screamed in terror as it hit a nearby treehead on at full speed. The car feel deathly silent as smokey fumes escaped from the car bonnet. Scarlet red blood was splattered up the window screen. Christie's head lay smashed and bruised on the wheel sounding the car horn over and over.

Amelia awoke and took in a sharp breath as she tried to come to terms with her devestating surrowdings. Blood oozed from her nose and mouth making her voice sound thick as she moaned out in agony, feeling had returned to her arms and legs. She looked to her side and attempted the awaken Christie but she couldn't reach, her arms were trapped under her seat belt.

"Fuck!" she yelled her voice horse, "Christie! please wake up!" she sobbed. Small groans were heard from the back seat, Peter had come round.

"Mia?" he called his voice almost a whisper.

"Peter!! thank God!! Are you alright?!" she replied

"Um my legs are trapped under Christie's seat." The whole front of the car was smashed trapping both Amelia and Christie. The tree trunk had crushed the driving seat...and Christie.

"Can you reach your mobile? We need an ambulence, Christie's in a bad way!" she asked with desparation hoping with all her strength that she had left that he could

"Yeah I can!" Peter dialled the number straight away, and then began to explain what had happened and where they were to the operator. Meanwhile Amelia feared the worst for Christie, she hadn't moved since herself and Peter had come round. She longed to reach out and touch her, but her hands and arms were tangled in the now taunt seat bely strapped around her body. She was in so much pain and felt sick to the stomach when she remembered the the heated conversation she had with her now it seemed dead friend before the crash. 'Did Christie really feel that way?' she thought. The heavy wait of regret hit her, how she wished could turn back time. But it was no use now what happened had happened and there was nothing she could do to change it. Relief flooded her body as the sound of help drifted towards the car...

xxx

"Is she ok?!" Amelia asked the paramedic while he checked her over. His facial expression was grim as he tried to think of an appropriate answer.

"Miss you need to relax! Your have just been in a very traumatic accident..."

"You didn't answer my question! Is. she. ok.?!!" she growled back.

"She's um..." he trailed off as he noticed Amelia's facial expression and followed her gaze over his shoulder. A black body bag rested upon a bed as it was pushed into a nearby ambulance. To Amelia's horror a limp, mangled, bloody arm slipped from the body bag drangling lifelessly.

"No! no! NO!!" yelled Amelia getting off the bed on which she sat. "Christie!!" she screamed as she ran towards the body bag, but was restained by the paramedic. "Get your hands off me!!" she hissed as she struggled. She fell to the floor sobbing, the lights around her flashing, as the rain continued to pour.

"CHRISTIE!!!!!"....

Do you read my stories?!!!!!

Well if you do listen up!!!!

I have recently decided to carry on with my MCR fanfic!

[Gerard]**Scratch your Name**[Sky]

Becca has been helping me getting my creative juices flowing again LY Becca!!! because I have been struggling with my writing lately :(

Also I MAY post my second Chapter of My vampire story:

Demolition Lovers

Coz when i posted the introduction ypu people didn't read it which shot my confidence about it BUT if you want me to I shall post it :)

Hope you do read them

loads of love

Lee

xxx